Its been a long time to post anything new here.  Life has a way of being way too busy and this seems to be a low priority compared to everything else.  But for some reason I was up a 0300 this morning and not able to sleep.  So…perhaps I will take some time later this morning to write more.  After all, it is a way of journaling that helps me keep sane.

Memorial Day 2009

Having sent my only daughter off to Germany to serve her 2 years there, this is a special Memorial Day for me.  She is the 3rd consecutive generation of Lancour’s to serve her country and I couldn’t be any more proud of her.

Psalm 130:7

For with the Lord there is lovingkindness,

And with Him is abundant redemption.

Vacation

We are headed out of town this week to see my daughter, Sarah, during her graduation from Air Force basic training.  Its been a long 8 weeks and I’m really looking forward to seeing her and to getting away from the daily grind.  We’ll catch up when we get home.

Clothing and the Character of the Child

From the blog of Russell Moore… http://www.henryinstitute.org/

Clothing and the Character of the Child

Wednesday, December 31st, 2008

Guest Post by Dr. Timothy Paul Jones

Our daughter Hannah is rapidly closing in on thirteen years of age. She is tall for her age. Her dark curls and tawny skin mirror the features of the birthparents who brought her to a Romanian orphanage when she was eight months old. Hannah has been part of our family for six years now. She is the apple of her Daddy’s eye, the princess of her Daddy’s heart, and—at this moment—she’s in need of some new clothes. In our household, this means a Daddy-Daughter Date Day, primarily because, in our family, Dad tends to have more patience than Mom when it comes to the quest for appropriate clothing.

And so here I am, meandering into a local mall, hoping that this year’s range of suitable selections is better than last year’s.

It isn’t.

The jeans that are long enough for Hannah’s ever-lengthening legs seem to have gained this extra length by trimming too many inches off the top. The sweatpants that fit her best have “PINK” emblazoned across the backside. And the messages that glitter on the chests of several otherwise-appropriate shirts lead to immediate vetoes from our household’s executive branch: “I Want What I Want Now,” one hoodie declares, while a nearby t-shirt boasts, “I Have an Attitude and I Know How to Use It.” “Sooner or Later I’ll Get What I Want,” another sweatshirt announces. Interestingly, the brand names on the tags are “Personal Identity” and “Self Esteem”—almost as if Erik Erikson and Sigmund Freud crept in during the manufacturing process and retagged the clothes to resolve adolescent girls’ supposed identity crises. To Hannah’s credit, she takes it all in good humor, knowing from past experience that, once a veto has been declared, her father will not budge.

By this point, a good many readers have likely identified me as some sort of development-squelching fundamentalist prude. I’ve heard the protests before, as a pastor, children’s minister, and youth minister—more from parents, oddly enough, than from children: “Come on, it’s just the kids’ clothes. Why make such a big deal about it? Let them wear what everyone else is wearing! If we don’t let them dress that way, they won’t be able to fit in.”

I’ve even had one parent couch his protest in evangelistic terms: “If I don’t let my daughter wear the same clothes as everyone else, no one will listen to her when she tries to witness at school.” Somehow, I cannot imagine that the low-slung waistline on his daughter’s jeans led any male in her school to anything but the most prurient interest in God’s created order.

So why am I so unyielding on this issue?

Simply this: The clothes that our children wear do not merely cover the nakedness of their flesh; they shape and reflect the contours of our children’s souls. What I encourage my child to wear is a statement not merely of fashion but of theology and axiology—and this link between our theology and our wardrobes is not a recent phenomenon.

The foliage that Adam and Eve clutched against their groins in the shadow of the Tree of Knowledge made a profoundly theological declaration. Those mute leaves pronounced the primal couple’s intent to cover their sins with their own efforts and experiences. In this, those leafy aprons spoke in unison with the Gnostics of the second century, with Pelagius in the fourth, and with the theological liberalism of the modern era, all seeking some path to holiness other than divine propitiation. The second ensemble of clothing in the Garden of Eden was no less theological—the flesh and fleece of a freshly-slaughtered beast, a covering given by grace which declared beyond any doubt the divinely-ordained link between sin and death.

Later in the Torah, the Israelites received a command from God to stitch tzitzit in the corners of their robes, entwining a cerulean thread in each tassel. And what was the rationale for this divinely-ordained fashion statement? “That when you shall see them, you may remember all the commandments of the Lord, and not follow your own thoughts and eyes, going astray after others” (Num. 15:39). What the children of Israel wore on their bodies reflected and shaped the disposition of their souls.

This principle is no less true for my child this afternoon at Oxmoor Mall.

The sweatpants with “PINK” plastered across the posterior declare far more than a child’s preferred pastel hue; they present as public property a part of the body that ought to be preserved as private property. The three-inch gap between shirt and jeans devalues the child by turning her body into a tool to attract the opposite gender’s attention instead of a vessel of beauty for the glory of God.

The t-shirt with “I Love My Dad Cuz He Spoils Me” emblazoned across the chest links love with what I can get out of a relationship—and lays the foundation for the relational disposition that has landed millions of couples in divorce court over the past half-century. “My Smile Gets Me What I Want” scrawled up the leg of a pair of pajamas implies that it is acceptable to exploit physical beauty as a tool to manipulate others. When a sweatshirt declares “Remember Me: I’ll Be Famous,” this comes with a tacit implication that the superficiality of celebrity might be a valid and viable goal for life. The hoodie that reads “I May Be Small But I’m the Boss” presents rebellion against parental authority as something to elicit a lighthearted smirk instead of loving discipline.

Please understand my point here: I am not claiming that clothing, in itself, causes children to behave badly—that would be tantamount to declaring it was the presence of fruit in the garden that caused Adam and Eve to sin. And I’m not suggesting that children’s clothing must be unfashionable for them to be holy. What I am suggesting is that these fusions of cotton, polyester, and iron-on transfers are not values-neutral. They are declarations of what we believe, what we value, and what we expect our children to believe and to value.

So what can parents do?

(1) Set clear standards and say no. This isn’t easy. A few weeks ago, I said no to a ballet leotard because it didn’t meet our family’s standards for modesty. No other leotards were available at the dance supply store. As such, my veto resulted in a rather unpleasant chain of events that ended with some crying and behavioral consequences—and with a clear awareness that we will not compromise our family’s standards. Truthfully, I wanted to say yes. In the short term, it would have resulted in far less stress to give the go-ahead to that particular leotard. But, as Hannah’s father, I bear primary responsibility before God for my child’s spiritual formation. And so I said no—firmly, gently, in love—because the long-term building of Hannah’s character matters more to me than the momentary calm that compromise could have achieved.

(2) Recognize that what is emblazoned on your children’s clothing is likely to be expressed at some point in their behavior. If the child’s t-shirt says “Blame It On My Sister,” why are parents shocked when their son eventually tries to avoid responsibility for his actions, even if that means resorting to deception? If you purchase clothes for your son that declare his ideal day to consist of sleeping, eating, and playing video games, why be surprised when he’s living in your basement two decades from now, still expecting you to pay his bills while he sleeps, eats, and plays video games? “But what the shirts say—they’re just joking,” parents respond. “You’re not supposed to take them seriously!” And perhaps the clothing manufacturers do intend such statements to be taken with a grain of salt. But history suggests that, what one generation smirks at, the next generation accepts as an inescapable state of affairs.

(3) Admit that the need for peer popularity is over-rated. Another primary cop-out from parents: “But my child has to dress this way to fit in at school.” In the first place, such a statement implies that the authority of the peer group matters more than the wisdom of the parents or the Word of God. In the second place, this implies that you would want your offspring to “fit” into a group that evidently bases its valuation of a child on that child’s clothing. Yet, even if we bypass these faulty foundational principles, there’s still a problem with this line of thinking: The idea that this type of peer popularity is necessary for healthy development is a recent phenomenon, rooted more in the social function of the American school system than in any perennial truths about human nature. In fact, despite decades of family fragmentation, the way that a child is accepted in his or her family remains far more important for the child’s development than acceptance or rejection at school. I’m not suggesting here that you should work to make your child unpopular with peers—but such acceptance is far less crucial than we’ve been led to believe.

And so Hannah and I traipsed out of the department stores and headed upstairs to the Chinese buffet, carrying far fewer outfits than we first intended—but they are well-chosen, stylish yet modest and devoid of devaluing messages. Now, if someone can locate a light-blue leotard for my child that isn’t low-cut in the top or high-cut in the legs, we’ll be set for one more year.

Resolutions???

Congress makes resolutions all the time and it seems that at the end of the year people make all sorts of resolutions to guide them into the New Year.

What about you?  What are you resolved to….?????

Unexpected Guests

WILKES-BARRE, Pa. —  A family did not realize they had an unexpected Christmas guest until a man who had been in their attic for days emerged wearing their clothes, police said.

Stanley Carter surrendered Friday after police took a dog to search the home in Plains Township, a suburb of Wilkes-Barre about 100 miles north of Philadelphia. He was charged with several counts of burglary, theft, receiving stolen property and criminal trespass.

“When he came down from the attic, he was wearing my daughter’s pants and my sweat shirt and sneakers,” homeowner Stacy Ferrance said. “From what I gather, he was helping himself to my home, eating my food and stealing my clothes.”

It kind of sounds like family to me…..

University of Chicago – A Disgrace!

Another example of a world gone crazy.  What ever happened to morality in America?  I’m not talking about a theocracy which we have never had but just plain and simple morality?  I mean, what in the world has come over leaders at all levels? 

News from the University of Chicago… “The University of Chicago is joining a nationwide trend of allowing male and female students to live not just on the same dorm floor, but in the same dorm room.

The school sent a letter out to parents last week informing them of the decision. The school says it was a student-led initiative that isn’t aimed at romantic couples. However, the school says couples won’t be banned from asking to be roommates when the program begins next month.

Nationally more than 30 campuses allow co-ed dorm rooms.

The University of Chicago program is called open housing and it won’t include freshmen. Students do not need parental permission to participate. The school says students will not be assigned mixed-gender housing. Instead it’s on a request basis.”

Well…that is comforting to know.  This really isn’t aimed at “romantic couples”.  Right.  Oh yeah..also this is on a request basis.  Well isn’t that quite open minded.  I won’t force anyone to live together with someone of the opposite sex.  And then there is the “student-led” initiative.  I wonder if they would be so open to a “student-led initiative” that assigns a grade of C just for enrolling in a class?

Come on people….

Christmas Week Thought

It becomes increasingly difficult to separate the celebration of Christ’s birth from the commercialization of the month of December.  Some of you may have mastered it but I continue to find it a struggle and one that I often lose.    The essence of the incarnation demands a focus that is solely on the person of Christ.  I used to think that reading the nativity story on Christmas day was sufficient but as I grow up in Christ I am finding that it is not.  It requires much more than that…a deeper reflection in the Scriptures.  And so I am taking time off this week to think a little more, talk a little less and commune with Christ as much as possible.

I encourage you to take the time necessary to think through what Christ did when he “who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of  a servant, being born in the likeness of men.” (Phil 2:6-7) 

Advent – Day 17

“For my eyes have seen your salvation,
Which You have prepared in the presence of all peoples,
A LIGHT OF REVELATION TO THE GENTILES
And the glory of Your people Israel.”
Luke 2:30-32

How long would you wait for God’s promise?  A day?  A month?  A year?  A lifetime?  Simeon had waited for a long, long time.  Scripture doesn’t tell us exactly how long but I suppose that it had been long enough.  How or through what circumstances the Holy Spirit had revealed to Simeon that the Messiah would be coming is uncertain.  What is known is that Simeon was waiting for the glorious hope of the consolation of Israel.

Of course we now know that it was in Christ Jesus that the promise made to Simeon would be fulfilled.  I can imagine that he looked at every person he ever saw and wondered to himself if this might be the one.  But when Jesus was presented at the temple, the Spirit of God revealed to Simeon the child’s unique nature and Simeon rejoiced.  He rejoiced to realize the fulfillment not only of the promise made to himself but the fulfillment of the promise made to all of us.  The light and the glory of God had arrived.

Remember that God is faithful to keep His promises.  He is faithful to keep His word.